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who is beatriz coca?

i wish i could answer that question for you. in fact, if anyone were able to answer that question, it would be me, because beatriz makes an appearance one pages 184-185 of "a definable moment in time", aka the story i've been publishing in serial form here on the blog. [see "let me tell you a story", above right. and no, we're nowhere near pages 184-185 yet, but i passed them long ago in writing terms.]

i know that there was a reason that i included her and a reason why i gave her a fairly distinctive name [at least for a story largely about white north americans and europeans] and i even have a hint as to how she's supposed to tie into the story. i'm reasonably sure she was an excellent clap of thunder in the midst of a brainstorm. there's just one problem.

i can't remember who she is anymore.

because of the relative complexity of the story for "a.d.m.i.t." [best. acronym. ever.] and the fact that it was clear from the beginning that it was going to take me a long time to finish it, plus the fact that i'm coming up with a lot of new details as i go along, i forced myself to keep very good notes on everything that's supposed to happen in the story because, just in case it appears otherwise, almost everything is in there for a very specific reason.

unfortunately, when i got caught up in writing about beatriz, may she rest in peace [actually *minor spoiler alert* in pieces, but we'll get there eventually], i was excited that i'd come up with a new way in which to enrich the plot. i was so excited that i guess i figured that there was no way i wouldn't remember such awesome and important ideas and i never bothered to update my notes. now i'm stuck with a name and a couple of sparse details of what happened to her, but i'm not sure at what point her true importance is to be revealed.

i have to say that part of me does appreciate the irony of the fact that i'm having this crisis over a story in which the central character has fairly severe memory problems and has to keep copious notes about who she meets, what she's been doing and everything else in her life. but more of me is just mortified that i was silly enough to deviate from the established path without leaving myself a few bread crumbs to find my way home again.

let this be a lesson to all of you who have similar creative pursuits: write things down. always. if you decide to drop your set plan or go off in another direction that's fine, because it's your business. however, if you don't bother to keep track of your creative genius, you'll sooner or later be kept up all night, haunted by the realisation that you are not only your own greatest critic, but your own biggest road-block.

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