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stop the madness!

sure, i could just post this link (brought to us by dominic m) and have everyone make of it what they will, but this issue strikes me as being of too urgent a nature to be left without commentary.

so i'm going to say this and i'd like everyone to pay close attention : TIGHTS ARE NOT PANTS.

i swear to cthulu, if i have to stare at one more panty line or estimate the depth of one more person's butt crack on the metro, i'm going to go postal. i'm not a fan of mass fashion as a rule, but after withstanding years of baggy pants, belly shirts, the resurgence of bell-bottoms, lumberjack shirts (yes, i was alive in the 90s) and any number of other atrocities, i have to draw a line in the spandex.

it's not merely the fact that i am routinely forced to count pubic hairs on the people around me. nor is it the fact that people of all shapes and sizes insist on wearing these things. to me, what is most infuriating about this is the fact that it's held up as fashion at all. really, wearing tights as pants is about as fashionable as wearing sweat pants. they're something that you put on because you don't want to face the "demands" of regular clothing. in this case, however, the message is clearly that you are aiming for total comfort while still encouraging people to look at your arse. the fact that it accomplishes both aims does not make it fashionable.

one might argue that "fashion" is a sort of high-brow, outmoded term anyway, but perhaps i can explain my thoughts on it by way of a personal definition. to me, the way one dresses and presents oneself makes a statement about how one perceives oneself. dressing in very obviously in expensive clothing gives the impression that one wants to be seen as wealthy. dressing in very skimpy, sexy clothing gives the impression that one wants to be seen as a sex object (which is why prostitutes dress provocatively). dressing in stretchy jersey says that one is not really interested and takes no pride in one's appearance. make the jersey skin tight and the message becomes "i don't care what i look like, but i want you to notice me anyway". not exactly the kind of personality type we look for in friends, lovers or relationships.

this is really an over-complication of my essential problem : no matter how taut and trim your body, i don't want to be able to see details that should normally be reserved for your gynecologist. yes, the infestation has gotten worse and everyone in line with you at the grocery store knows it. now please, for the love of god, put on some pants. or at least a long top.

Comments

Martin Rouge said…
To me, it comes down to a matter of language: most people assume that all you need to assume a successful look (that is, one that will bring about the desired result) is to follow fashion, that is, to jump on whatever bandwagon the majority, or at the very least, the pop icons who "lead" that way.

The simple fact is, what most have not realize is that fashion is a mass movement, which thrives on making you look like everybody else. What is the primary mover of excellence in appearance is STYLE. Unfortunately, too many assume that being an ass is a successful attitude and will endear you to "the right people", while all it does is link you to your closest appearance-DNA dead end.
BITEWERKS said…
I haven't seen this fashion trend here but I feel the same when I see mountain bikers in spandex tights. Sure,they're light-weight, they don't hang up on the saddle & ya got some extra padding but it looks just AWFUL and ya ain't riding all THAT fast nor doing a epic 20+ mile ride.

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jihadvertising?

i keep seeing this ad for tictac candies:



am i the only one who finds the suicide bomber clown at the end a little unnerving? all the nice natural things like the bunny and the [extinct] woolly mammoth and the fruit get devoured by a trying-to-appear-nonthreatening-but-obviously-psychotic clown who then blows himself up. congratulations, tictac, i think this ad has landed you on about a dozen watch lists.

oh and by the way, showing me that your product will somehow cause my stomach to explode in a rainbow of wtf makes me believe that doing consuming tictacs would be a worse dietary decision than the time i ate two raw eggs and a half a bottle of hot sauce on a dare.

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