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and i hope you burn in hell

no, not you, not the one who's actually reading this post and wondering why i'm suddenly so angry. you're fine. probably. maybe you eat babies or something, which most people would look down on, but i'm not here to judge what goes on in your house and that isn't what i meant to talk about anyway.

one of the nice things about having this kind of forum is that you get feedback from people who read it. some of you leave comments here. some of you leave comments on facebook, where this is "simulcast". and i like that.

what i don't like is when i log in here, see comments and find out that they come from strange asian addresses and link to little start-up porn sites. if that's the kind of thing that you want, fine. personally, i think that if you have to trawl through comments on a blog to find porn on the internet, you're probably too brain dead to know what's going on when you find it.

i never get spam. does anyone seriously respond to any of these ads? "yes, i would like to order the cut-rate rolexes and viagra you emailed me about, please take my money. and please, if you know where i can find porn, let me know, there doesn't seem to be any of it where i look on the web".

i'm not saying that spam doesn't have its purpose. when i clear out my spam filter, i always get a great chortle out of observing the absurdities that have accumulated. (see previous post here.)

i personally think it's almost inexcusable that people have the kind of time it takes to set these spam programs up, when there are so many actually useful things that can be done. but i update my spam filters often and shrug off that which i cannot control.

i really take umbrage, however, when these little shits start putting their stupid links on my damn page. you've got a blogger account- use it. i don't allow anonymous comments. i make people pass a captcha test in order to post. and they still find a way through. get a life. leave me alone. there are lots of people who want your services- go find them and stay the f**k away from me. i have better things to do than find new ways to block your ass from posting here, but i will make an exception to keep weeding you out of my life.

i should probably just take a pill and relax a bit. i found this cool site in my spam filter that will apparently sell me brand name drugs at 80% off.

Comments

Martin Rouge said…
I always find those spam for online canadian pharmacies completely hilarious (and very, very pathetic), just like those that advertise high-end brand knock-offs... as if you cant get the same stuff easily anywhere. I count myself lucky to not have to deal with spam on my blog, but then again, I dont suffer from much in the way of comments, so...
SIGHUP said…
I believe the spam comments are in part for search result seeding, so that, when you type "hot porn" into a search engine, that said site will show up first. Also, sometimes they are there to trick other commenters into following links, but then that's only going to be a successful strategy where the mouthbreathers roam.

as long as you're here, why not read more?

i agree, smedley [or, smokers totally saved our planet in 1983]

so this conversation happened [via text, so i have evidence and possibly so does the canadian government and the nsa].

dom and i were trying to settle our mutual nerves about tomorrow night's conversion screening, remembering that we've made a fine little film that people should see. which is just about exactly what dom had said when i responded thusly:

me :: i agree smedley. [pauses for a moment] did you get that here?

dom :: no?

me :: the aliens who were looking at earth and then decided it wasn't worth bothering with because people smoked even though it was bad for them?
come to think of it, that might mean that smokers prevented an alien invasion in the seventies.

dom :: what ?!?!?

me :: i've had wine and very little food. [pause] but the alien thing was real. [pause.] well, real on tv.

dom :: please eat something.

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