Skip to main content

a selection from the imaginary kaleidescope

sometimes, i like to simply write stray bits, often as accompaniment to music. (i turn the computer on random and write a separate piece for each track that plays.) here are a few excerpts from that sort of exercise.

#1

I thought I dreamed last night, but I can’t remember anymore. I think I dreamed. Maybe a dream of being out, walking in the cold early spring, sitting with people who hardly know I exist, those people who see me every day. Being satisfied that they might finally know what my voice sounded like, being able to explain why I list ever so slightly to the right when I walk, in case they’d ever noticed, not that they would have had reason to notice.

You weren’t there in the dream.

#2

Whoever said it was better to have loved and lost than never to have loved didn’t love the way that I love her, didn’t lose her as completely as I am losing her. She takes not only herself when she goes, not only her white form, leaving a smooth, temporary imprint on the sagging sofa, not only this goes with her but part of me as well. The part of me that belongs in recent memory. The part of me that she has created. That’s all done for her now, that’s all done and she moves on, an effortless slide on a chessboard only she can see. She takes me with her. I am left without myself.

#3

Then parlour dramas took their toll and I became that other, that one who held you back from all you dream and you, sweet hero of the tale, put hand to breast and showed how much you longed to fly from here, even as I wrapped my arms around you, even as I thought the history of the flesh would crush you into me.

And then there was the jerky dance around, the histrionics that time expects for its patience. Arms thrusting up and down, countered by those waving side to side, the film descends to lurid drama and then unravels entirely.

Grey real of alone, sitting despondent stupid and waiting for your sunshine.

#4

Marianna needs to stop dancing on the damn table is all I’m thinking at this point. She’s wearing these massive, alarming silver boots and a purple dress, a sort of rabbit-hole dress- only fits around the hare. Her platinum locks- or the synthetic mass that’s passing for her hair this week- shakes and weaves in time with whatever eastern crap Derek’s got blaring from his stereo.

See, the thing is, Derek’s guests encourage Marianna to do this sort of thing because it’s funny. But Derek doesn’t find it funny because he paid more than a month’s rent for the table she’s dancing on. I’m the only one who knows that. Two people are snorting lines off a coffee table that costs more than this incredible apartment.

Comments

Aaron Fenwick said…
Already said bravo to these elsewhere, but I must say bravo again :)
flora_mundi said…
hey, welcome to you, hatter! i figured i'd stick them up here for those who aren't "pets" as well :-)

as long as you're here, why not read more?

jihadvertising?

i keep seeing this ad for tictac candies:



am i the only one who finds the suicide bomber clown at the end a little unnerving? all the nice natural things like the bunny and the [extinct] woolly mammoth and the fruit get devoured by a trying-to-appear-nonthreatening-but-obviously-psychotic clown who then blows himself up. congratulations, tictac, i think this ad has landed you on about a dozen watch lists.

oh and by the way, showing me that your product will somehow cause my stomach to explode in a rainbow of wtf makes me believe that doing consuming tictacs would be a worse dietary decision than the time i ate two raw eggs and a half a bottle of hot sauce on a dare.

mental health mondays :: pop quiz

those of you who are friends of mine on facebook [that might look a little weird to those of you seeing this post on facebook] may have seen my weekly "sunday quiz time", where i just ask random questions in the name of stimulating conversation. after doing that this week, i ended up taking a very wide variety of quizzes on mental floss, which made me a little smug about my knowledge of geography and a little rattled about my knowledge of the finer points of grammar. [i want to say, in my defense, that the one grammar quiz i found was really f**king hard. is that last sentence grammatically correct? i don't know. i have no confidence in my grammar anymore.]

i got so into answering questions about just about anything that i thought it might be fun to apply that format to mental health mondays. i've already done links to quizzes about various mental disorders and how to tell if you have them [i think it turned out i had all of them], but i wanted to do a special set of…

making faces :: hot stuff, comin' through

i don't even know what to say about the weather. the end of september saw temperatures at a scalding 36c/ 97f outside. this is especially annoying because we've had a moderate summer. most days it rained a little in the morning, the temperatures didn't creep into the 30s too often and there wasn't the normal stretch of a few weeks when it felt like we were living on the sun. now, we've receded into more normal fall weather, although it's still on the warm side for mid-october. that climate change thing is a bitch.

trying to think of something positive in the situation, it does put me in a perfect frame of mind to write about urban decay's naked heat palette. it's the latest in what appears to be an endless series of warm neutral and red eyeshadow palettes that have followed in the footsteps of anastasia's modern renaissance. [which i ultimately decided i didn't need after doing a thorough search of my considerable stash.] i do think that it'…