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diet diary, ad infintitum

a while ago, a long while ago, i started posting on this blog about the fact that i'd put myself on a diet. although i didn't know (and still don't) my exact weight, it had become apparent to me that a few years of too much food, too little movement and a certain heavy (pun intended) complacency had moved me beyond the range in which i'd become somewhat comfortable. in fact, even without knowing the starting point, i can still say that my body mass index (the measurement that i've grown to favour as the most rational way of tracking weight) had crept over the dreaded "25" marker. i was overweight.

i'm not going to apologise for being vain. we all are. most of the men i know are as concerned about their waistlines as the women, so, despite the fact that we hear more about the agonies women vest on themselves in the matter of body image, the fact is that people everywhere worry about their appearance and how they are perceived. i'd like to say that the difference for me came from an interest in my health- being overweight is bad for you, after all. but the fact is that it was vanity that made me move ahead, because i simply got sick of feeling sick at seeing pictures of myself.

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not knowing my exact starting point, of course, made it difficult to figure out exactly what the correct end point would be. the first step, i thought, was just to get comfortable again in the clothes that i was outgrowing. second would be to start fitting myself into the sizes i remembered getting into. third would be getting my body back to the dimensions where i remembered being somewhat comfortable. and, over the course of what seemed like an exceptionally long period of time, all of those things have come to pass.

but, as i began the whole process, what struck me is that other things started to change.

first my hair, unchanged in over a decade, developed a new shape

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and then got chopped in dramatic fashion.

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after that, it started to get lighter

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and lighter

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really light

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if you're guessing that my point is that these outward changes are somehow manifesting a type of inner change going on at the same time, you're probably right. without getting into too much detail, there's a lot in my life that has changed in the time it's taken me to alter my appearance.

because i'm a writer and i like to think of such things as being imbued with significance, we'll say that the complacency i wanted to fight when i first decided that i needed to lose a few pounds was not merely a physical condition.

i had assumed that, being a diet, this change in habits would have an end, a point at which i would be able to stand back and say "i have arrived" or "mission accomplished" (well, maybe not that phrase...) and declare myself done. but the way that things have developed, that seems unlikely to happen. of the goals that i set for myself, the clothes i owned at the time i started this are generally too large for me (unless they were very tight to begin with), i'm a smaller size than i was at my previous light weight and my measurements are smaller than they were when i was 15.

and, in terms of outward and inward change, i don't feel like i'm done yet. i just feel like i'm off to a decent start.

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(39.33.39.5-35.25.33-??)

Comments

swervidoor said…
has your writing changed accordingly? developed a "lighter" tone perhaps? hm...
flora_mundi said…
heehee... good pun there. i don't know that it's changed, but what i will say is that i've been concentrating more on it. to be fair, this probably predates the weight loss, but the "re-focus" on writing is one of the changes i've noticed...
I think that, in a way, what has had the most impact is moving from a passive to a proactive lifestyle/mindset. I hate the term proactive, but it works, as basically, you took charge of your destiny.

as long as you're here, why not read more?

jihadvertising?

i keep seeing this ad for tictac candies:



am i the only one who finds the suicide bomber clown at the end a little unnerving? all the nice natural things like the bunny and the [extinct] woolly mammoth and the fruit get devoured by a trying-to-appear-nonthreatening-but-obviously-psychotic clown who then blows himself up. congratulations, tictac, i think this ad has landed you on about a dozen watch lists.

oh and by the way, showing me that your product will somehow cause my stomach to explode in a rainbow of wtf makes me believe that doing consuming tictacs would be a worse dietary decision than the time i ate two raw eggs and a half a bottle of hot sauce on a dare.

making faces :: hot stuff, comin' through

i don't even know what to say about the weather. the end of september saw temperatures at a scalding 36c/ 97f outside. this is especially annoying because we've had a moderate summer. most days it rained a little in the morning, the temperatures didn't creep into the 30s too often and there wasn't the normal stretch of a few weeks when it felt like we were living on the sun. now, we've receded into more normal fall weather, although it's still on the warm side for mid-october. that climate change thing is a bitch.

trying to think of something positive in the situation, it does put me in a perfect frame of mind to write about urban decay's naked heat palette. it's the latest in what appears to be an endless series of warm neutral and red eyeshadow palettes that have followed in the footsteps of anastasia's modern renaissance. [which i ultimately decided i didn't need after doing a thorough search of my considerable stash.] i do think that it'…

i agree, smedley [or, smokers totally saved our planet in 1983]

so this conversation happened [via text, so i have evidence and possibly so does the canadian government and the nsa].

dom and i were trying to settle our mutual nerves about tomorrow night's conversion screening, remembering that we've made a fine little film that people should see. which is just about exactly what dom had said when i responded thusly:

me :: i agree smedley. [pauses for a moment] did you get that here?

dom :: no?

me :: the aliens who were looking at earth and then decided it wasn't worth bothering with because people smoked even though it was bad for them?
come to think of it, that might mean that smokers prevented an alien invasion in the seventies.

dom :: what ?!?!?

me :: i've had wine and very little food. [pause] but the alien thing was real. [pause.] well, real on tv.

dom :: please eat something.

of course, i was wrong. the ad in question ran in 1983. this is the part where i would triumphantly embed the ad from youtube, except that the governmen…