more like space

is my face, from nausea, upon reading the latest on the american government reaction to the german-led proposal on climate change put before the g8. read the proposal here and weep.

i usually try to keep track of my dreams and nightmares as a way of analysing possible base causes of waking thoughts or anxieties. while i was away this weekend, i had ana experience that's happened to me only rarely- a nightmare bad enough that i woke myself (and my mother) up with my own screaming.

there's no point in trying to explain what happened in the nightmare, since prose always robs them of their sinister power and reduces them to low-brow comedy, but i do find it strangely appropriate that the nightmare should have involved an enemy wearing a mask.

after all, dreams themselves are masked, with familiar, sometimes farcical imagery serving as a cover for underlying meaning. but what is more interesting to me is that the wearing of masks is actually just as common in waking life as it is in dreams. we all have disguises that we wear, an image that we project to impress or intimidate others, or something that allows us to defend ourselves, blocking access to our tru…

i've been given the opportunity in the last few days to think about my grandmother and ruminate on my impressions of her. being a quick-witted, smart-mouthed type, i often wonder what she would have become if she had been born in another era, or in another geographical location. born in her own time, but in a large city instead of a small town, i can easily picture her donning a suit and sneaking out to drink and smoke cigars with the guys. since she did live in a small town and likely felt the pressure of expectations, she became a wife and mother, perhaps a little more uneasily than others.

for what she might have turned out like in the modern era, i need only look in the mirror. i consider myself fortunate that i'm free to do bar shots, make off-colour jokes, stay out past my bed time and generally behave as badly as anyone, without fear of ostracism from either family or community.

however, there are sometimes signs i get that things aren't quite as smooth between th…

whatever you think of the man, there is no denying that boyd rice can tell a great story. cheers.

music review :: nebris :: bleak angels :: dystonia ek

this is one of those releases that could be termed "ambient music" at a cursory listen. that's normally a polite way of saying that something functions as background noise, but lacks the personality to stand by itself. and what a sad mistake it would be to leave it at that.

the fact is that the album's three lengthy tracks show chthonic depths and an alternate world's worth of organic, expansive sound churning beneath the seemingly placid surface. this is music to listen to when you're ready to examine the inner landscape of your mind.

the album's first two tracks in particular are models of restraint, forcing the listener to focus or be left behind, compressing an atmosphere's worth of pressure into just over thirty minutes. the final, and longest, track raises the ante. the textures become more shrill, more abrasive, more unsettling, which, after the sensory-deprivation-chamber-hallucination amb…