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it's a girl thing

i have always realised that i have a lot of clothes. somehow, i have always managed to have a lot of clothes, even going back to a time when i was relying on family members to buy them for me.

despite the fact that i am aware of this, there are times when it seems much clearer. those times are when i am doing what every decent canadian does- weeding through my closet to find stuff that doesn't fit, doesn't suit me, or that i'm unlikely to wear for other reasons and assembling it for delivery to a charity. when this happens, i end up pulling everything out of the closet to examine and then i pass judgment.

there are three categories: 1. bound for charity; 2. keepers; 3. things i'd forgotten and want to keep, but which are in dire need of a trip to the dry cleaners.

after tonight, i have one full garbage bag of clothing to go to good will, another full garbage bag to go to the dry cleaners (that's going to have to happen in shifts) and my closets are still full. yes, that's right, closetS. i was forced to contemplate this while trying to force an overstuffed crinoline into the tiny space that remained.

the problem is understandable: not only do i like clothing, but i have, over time, cultivated a certain look and i like to keep up appearances. that means that i tend to buy distinctive looking items. if you live in jeans, you can wear the same pair four times a week and no one's going to be the wiser. if your wardrobe features things like an ultraviolet skirt with leopard print lining and a fringe of tulle around the bottom, it's going to be a little more obvious when you pull a repeat close to laundry day. such are the obstacles faced by those of us who don't enjoy blending in.

as i surveyed my closet, i considered the future. my eyes fell on the floaty, gauzy black shirt section, each piece with its own distinctive points. i know that i will require more space and sooner rather than later. i know that there is precious little i'm willing to part with now that i have culled and that i will soon have to look at converting a bedroom. eventually, i'm going to be sitting at this computer and there will be clothing hanging all around me.

but the fact is, there is something satisfying about looking in the mirror and seeing yourself wearing something expressive of the person inside and looking like no one else. i'm sure i can find a larger apartment if i need to.

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jihadvertising?

i keep seeing this ad for tictac candies:



am i the only one who finds the suicide bomber clown at the end a little unnerving? all the nice natural things like the bunny and the [extinct] woolly mammoth and the fruit get devoured by a trying-to-appear-nonthreatening-but-obviously-psychotic clown who then blows himself up. congratulations, tictac, i think this ad has landed you on about a dozen watch lists.

oh and by the way, showing me that your product will somehow cause my stomach to explode in a rainbow of wtf makes me believe that doing consuming tictacs would be a worse dietary decision than the time i ate two raw eggs and a half a bottle of hot sauce on a dare.

making faces :: hot stuff, comin' through

i don't even know what to say about the weather. the end of september saw temperatures at a scalding 36c/ 97f outside. this is especially annoying because we've had a moderate summer. most days it rained a little in the morning, the temperatures didn't creep into the 30s too often and there wasn't the normal stretch of a few weeks when it felt like we were living on the sun. now, we've receded into more normal fall weather, although it's still on the warm side for mid-october. that climate change thing is a bitch.

trying to think of something positive in the situation, it does put me in a perfect frame of mind to write about urban decay's naked heat palette. it's the latest in what appears to be an endless series of warm neutral and red eyeshadow palettes that have followed in the footsteps of anastasia's modern renaissance. [which i ultimately decided i didn't need after doing a thorough search of my considerable stash.] i do think that it'…

i agree, smedley [or, smokers totally saved our planet in 1983]

so this conversation happened [via text, so i have evidence and possibly so does the canadian government and the nsa].

dom and i were trying to settle our mutual nerves about tomorrow night's conversion screening, remembering that we've made a fine little film that people should see. which is just about exactly what dom had said when i responded thusly:

me :: i agree smedley. [pauses for a moment] did you get that here?

dom :: no?

me :: the aliens who were looking at earth and then decided it wasn't worth bothering with because people smoked even though it was bad for them?
come to think of it, that might mean that smokers prevented an alien invasion in the seventies.

dom :: what ?!?!?

me :: i've had wine and very little food. [pause] but the alien thing was real. [pause.] well, real on tv.

dom :: please eat something.

of course, i was wrong. the ad in question ran in 1983. this is the part where i would triumphantly embed the ad from youtube, except that the governmen…