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happy endings?

if i haven't been writing about writing a lot lately, it's mostly because i've been having the damnedest time trying to finish things. for whatever reason, the last few months have been marked by creative ideas that simply do not seem to pan out when they get out of my head and onto the computer screen. and nothing is worse than thinking that your creative efforts are directed to the increase in volume of mediocre writing in the world.

it's not that i lack ideas (well, sometimes it is, but it's not a long-term disability), but rather i seem to lack complete stories, things that remain as vibrant when written as they seem in thought. and although i find that my best writing happens when i have a clear idea of where stories are going, i've been reverting to my school-era habit of simply writing down anything that comes to mind in the hopes that somehow, some day, i'll be able to connect the dots and turn six disconnected segments into a cohesive whole. weirder things have happened.

at the moment, though, my hard drive is becoming populated with scraps that have no home, which neither stand alone nor fit comfortably into some larger master plan. perhaps if i leave them to congregate there, i figure they will get to know each other and might come up with some ideas of their own as to how they could fit together.

strangely, this week i was able to finish something for the first time in a couple of months. it's short- even by the standards of someone who normally writes short stories- and it's a quirky little thing, personal enough that there are people to whom i would feel uncomfortable showing it. now that it's "out there", at least in a first draft, i have no idea what to do with it. very little happens and it's more of a vignette than anything, but i still regard it with a sort of curiosity. after a long stretch where i seemed to be able to complete nothing, it seems at once strange and comforting to see something whole that i've produced.

here's hoping the strangeness part wears off soon.

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