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business unusual

normally, when i'm sent out on assignment to the sort of place where women don't have to change their family name when they marry their husbands, the worst thing that i fear is encounters with the people who played the extras in deliverance. but i have news.

the back woods are transforming. now, when i'm sent to these places, i'm noticing more and more that the people who inhabit them look like they come out of ads for the gap. the are clean and groomed. and they all look, speak, act, dress and think exactly the same. they all have the same slightly glazed, slightly vapid, slightly dead look in their eye that betrays the lack of higher cerebral function inside.

i'm not prone to paranoia, but there is no equivalent term in the english language for a rational fear. while we aren't looking, the body snatchers have invaded. in the back woods, where we all fear to tread, a generation of clones is being bred to take over the world. they'll come for you next.

Comments

I think somebody has been watching Boys From Brazil and The Stepford Wives a few too many times.
And I'm not talking about you, Kate.
Then again, there is already such a thing here... have you noticed how in many cases, the politician's wives all kinda look the same?

as long as you're here, why not read more?

jihadvertising?

i keep seeing this ad for tictac candies:



am i the only one who finds the suicide bomber clown at the end a little unnerving? all the nice natural things like the bunny and the [extinct] woolly mammoth and the fruit get devoured by a trying-to-appear-nonthreatening-but-obviously-psychotic clown who then blows himself up. congratulations, tictac, i think this ad has landed you on about a dozen watch lists.

oh and by the way, showing me that your product will somehow cause my stomach to explode in a rainbow of wtf makes me believe that doing consuming tictacs would be a worse dietary decision than the time i ate two raw eggs and a half a bottle of hot sauce on a dare.

making faces :: getting cheeky

blush might just be the last thing that a beauty lover comes to appreciate, seeing as it can be a matter of slight degrees that separates one product from another, and it's most difficult to tell from just swatching a product how it's going to look. and it did take me a long time to appreciate that, despite loving my refined pallor and believing that my natural rosy flush was more than enough of a blush for me, blush is my friend. it softens, sculpts, perfects and, although you might not see it at first blush [yuk yuk yuk], it is something that subtly harmonises with the other colours in a look to make it "complete". yes, it's the most tricky thing to pull off when you're wearing something that doesn't mesh with your own undertones. but it's also the thing that can take a face from gloomy to glowing with a swish of the magic wand known as a makeup brush.

highlighters are an even trickier lot, since many of the more brilliant ones have a tendency to e…

making faces :: chanel's velvet realm

who doesn't love velvet? i know when i was younger, i used to, as george costanza longed to, "drape myself in velvet" and although that phase passed with time, i still think that the plush fabric has to be one of the high points of human achievement, up there with interior heating, advanced medicine and vodka. so to me, it's no surprise that one of the most hotly anticipated launches in the cosmetic world is chanel's new "rouge allure velvet" lipstick line, because even the name immediately makes me want to put it on my lips.

on a more concrete level, chanel describes these lipsticks as "luminous matte", which is sort of like the holy grail for lipstick lovers. we all want those intense, come-hither film noir lips, the sort where young men and sunlight are lost and never heard from again, but historically [including during the making of those films], applying a matte lipstick felt sort of like colouring in your lips with an old crayon that had…