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urine nation

there is no gentle way to express this: someone peed in the elevator in my building.

i know there's a guy here who owns a dog (they're officially verboten), there may even be two. i like animals (in a non-sexual way) a lot and i really don't want the owners of these dogs to get in trouble, since they seem like nice enough people. so my first instinct, other than retching, was that i hoped it wasn't the dog, so there wouldn't be any problems for them.

then i clued in to exactly how ridiculous that sentiment was. because if it wasn't the dog, it means that i am living in the same building as someone who doesn't have the social graces to realise that there is a fundamental difference between the floor of the elevator and a public toilet. how far has society sunk when it becomes socially acceptable to pee on the floor? if these people can't control themselves in the elevator, how long before peeing on the floors of their apartment becomes part of their day? and what if they live in the apartment upstairs from me? will the ceiling eventually soak through and collapse? i don't want to go out of this life crushed by a chunk of pee-soaked plaster.

to be fair, the elevator in my building is one of the slowest in the world, so maybe someone just couldn't hold it in any more, but if they are so busy that they have to hold their urine in for hours until they literally burst, maybe they need to clear some time in their schedule.

since the floor of the elevator is carpeted, that scent isn't going anywhere. and apparently, whoever the urinator is, they aren't going to make an effort to be decent and at least clean up the mess that they left. so i'm avoiding the elevator at all costs until further notice. on the bright side, maybe taking the stairs more often will give me a bit of a workout.


as long as you're here, why not read more?

mental health mondays :: where even the depressed ones are happy

this past week saw the publication of the annual world happiness report, a look at nations around the world and how people in each of them feel about their lot in life. i started following this a few years ago, and this year it occurred to me that it would be fun to look at how the happy places compared to the crazy places. i mean, what if those countries aren't really all that happy, but just have an extremely high rate of psychotic/ delusional disorders?

so, i set to work putting together a comparison. as it happens, that's a bit trickier than it sounds, because information on any kind of disability is more difficult to come by than you might think. and no type of disability is more controversial than a mental illness, which means that there are even more complications around definitions, seeking treatment, prognoses, record-keeping... it's hard to tell how reliable anything you're looking at is. [not that there aren't some good sources.]

and what sources there …


i keep seeing this ad for tictac candies:

am i the only one who finds the suicide bomber clown at the end a little unnerving? all the nice natural things like the bunny and the [extinct] woolly mammoth and the fruit get devoured by a trying-to-appear-nonthreatening-but-obviously-psychotic clown who then blows himself up. congratulations, tictac, i think this ad has landed you on about a dozen watch lists.

oh and by the way, showing me that your product will somehow cause my stomach to explode in a rainbow of wtf makes me believe that doing consuming tictacs would be a worse dietary decision than the time i ate two raw eggs and a half a bottle of hot sauce on a dare.

making faces :: a lip for all seasons [summer edition]

this may seem like an odd time to think about summer, but not to think about coolness. it can be hard to wrap your head around the idea that summer is considered "cool" in colour analysis terms and, in my opinion, reads as the coolest of the cool, because everything in it is touched with the same chilly grey. winter may have the coldest colours, but its palette is so vivid that it distracts the eye. everything in summer is fresh and misty, like the morning sky before the sun breaks through. in my original post on the season, i compared it to monet's paintings of waterlilies at his garden in giverny and, if i do say so, i think that's an apt characterisation.

finding lip colours touched with summer grey and blue is, as you might expect, kind of tricky. the cosmetic world seems obsessed with bringing warmth, which doesn't recognise that some complexions don't support it well. [also, different complexions support different kinds of warmth, but that's another…