29 September 2005

homes sweet homes?


i've now lived in three cities and one of my favourite experiences is going back to visit the places i've lived before. i find it's almost always a positive thing- you remember the parts that you really liked about each location. (this can be a dangerous endeavour as well, since it can lead down the slippery slope of depressing nostalgia.)

when i leave toronto, which i know i will eventually will, i wonder what i'll miss about it the way i miss things in halifax and montreal?

isn live in montreal

no idea who set this up, but seminal swedish "death-industrial" act in slughter natives will be playing at cafe chaos in montreal on monday november 7th, along with label mates desderi marginis and sephiroth. isn came out of retirement/ hibernation earlier this year to release their (his) sixth album, the superlative resurrection (available from either cold meant industry or malignant. isn are about the last band doing anything that actually sounds interesting in this genre- should be a great show.

26 September 2005

king henry


very happy to hear that former black flag front man/ writer/ spoken word performer/ activist/ jazz afficiando henry rollins will be doing a spoken word performance at the university of toronto october 23rd.

although i was a black flag fan starting when i was about 13, i've never seen rollins in any of his incarnations live, so, needless to say, i'm pretty excited. tickets are available through ticketmaster (ok, online purchasing through ticketmaster doesn't seem very punk to me either, but it's a small compromise on the grand scale).

now i'm going to go put on combat boots with grey wool socks, put on my black flag shirt and listen to music my parents wouldn't like in order to prepare for the event...

25 September 2005

thanks for reminding me


i went to adjust something on my profile here and had to do a double take because i was listed as being older than i am. then i realised that the profile was right and i was wrong. i am older. blogger is keeping tabs on me...

bit of a quiet birthday this year, unlike last year (see photo- all dressed up and no tiki party to go to). had a really nice dinner at caju, though. the moqueca and the feijoada are to die for. and they make a mean caphirinia (Brazilian rum, lime, a little sugar and a little soda).

it was me


i have this habit, a little thing i do, whenever i've visited a city. i buy a map of the place. once i've been there, i have to have a map of it for my "records". i don't ever buy a map of a city until i've been there. with one exception.

earlier this year, i was actually planning to go to new orleans for a vacation, so i broke with my established tradition and bought a map of new orleans in anticipation of going there. after all, i figured even if i didn't end up going in the spring, as planned (which i didn't), i would certainly go there in the near future.

coincidences make me paranoid, even when they shouldn't.

24 September 2005

the music industry by numbers

for no particular reason (although i have been listening to some big black lately...), thought i would post a commentary by steve albini on the machinations of the music industry (written in 1996, still relevant today).

i am one of the "annoying turds who used to staff college radio stations", however, i'm going to allow myself to believe that i'm not implicated as a full-fledged turd, because campus radio in canada has a lot more in common with community radio in the usa, where campus stations tend to be breeding grounds for the next big "(we like to call ourselves) alternative" act.

while you're checking this out, be sure to take a gander around the negativeland web site, where the article is hosted.

23 September 2005

i'd like to cash my reality cheque

the thing about epiphanies is that they feel amazing when they happen. you suddenly KNOW how your life must progress. you KNOW that for which you are destined. it's incredible the feeling of power, the feeling that you are suddenly above all of your mundane day to day concerns. there is this sudden clarity and none of the minor things that have been troubling you are of the least concern, because you have a higher calling. your life has new meaning. you can see the path to happiness.

then that feeling kind of deserts you and moves on to someone else. all of a sudden you can see the end of the road, but rather than a path up the mountain, there's a canyon and no bridge separating you from the be all end all. once again, life is treating you like he caught you in bed with his wife. and the worst thing is, you can still see what it is you want. you just can't get to it.

ain't life grand?

15 September 2005

disastrous americanus omnibus


the more i read, the more i'm beginning to think that george w bush may be the most underestimated man in politics. after all, it is beginning to look like, despite the fact that everyone agrees that his administration botched the disaster relief effort in the gulf coast, he is now finding ways to enact legislation that four weeks ago would have seemed the exclusive domain of right wing nutbars. you know, those people who elected him...

is there a test i can take?

i got one of these emails from a newsgroup today asking for models for a hair show that's coming up. prospective models have to be willing to let hairdressers do pretty much anything to their hair, which rules me out anyway, but it was one of the other requisites that caught my attention:

must be attractive

attractive to whom? or to what? bears are supposedly attracted to menstruating women, does that count? who in the hell can say with authority that they are objectively attractive (other than arrogant losers who probably aren't)?

what puzzles me about this is that it makes it sound like there is a way to tell whether you are attractive or not. fill out this quiz and we'll tell you the results. i guess that whole "eye of the beholder" thing is just a myth...

so if you ever believed that whether or not you were attractive was a matter of opinion, you were wrong. somewhere, there is a list of criteria and if you don't meet that standard, well, you just better feel lucky if anyone looks at you, even the bears.

14 September 2005

new age propaganda


i'm thinking of putting a few of these up around the office. because what's the use in being the freak in a sea of normalcy if you can't scramble the brains of a few people? besides, if i put up the one pictured here, i think i'd soon figure out who was using their work time to download internet porn.

11 September 2005

and now the real looting begins

as many expected, contracts for the redevelopment of new orleans in the wake of hurricane katrina are being handed to close confidantes of the bush administration. yes, the hurricane and the devastation it left is tragic, but look on the bright side: at least someone can make (even more) money from it...

there's a nice round-up of the cast of stooges responsible for the government (lack of) response to the hurricane that aired earlier this week on the daily show. appropriately, it's the segment titled "meet the f**kers".

ps- on an unrelated daily show note, if you check the link above, you might notice that the preview for this week says that they will be airing a segment called "evolution, schmevolution". is it possible that they're actually going to have a go at the kansas school board for their decision to teach creationism as a scientific theory on par with evolution? if so, is there any chance they'll be addressing the issue of the flying spaghetti monster???

yummy yummy yummy


for some reason, the stuff at engrish.com just slays me. here, for instance, is a picture of a kfc delivery truck...

in nomine pasta...


now at last i can proudly display my faith... create your own highly individualised wearable by checking out the fsm store at spreadshirt.

ramen.

08 September 2005

prove you're human

because of some comments that are obviously spam, i've enabled word verification. you will need to complete this extra step to post comments, comments related to the postings, the blog, your state of mind or the state of the world are welcome.

07 September 2005

gimme gimme gimme


what can i say? i have a birthday coming up. i want it. me a 10 million other pastafarians, yes, but i really want it. besides, as someone who has made a habit of collecting odd stuffed toys, this would be sort of a crowning achievement.

this person does some cute characters, aside from the fsm holy relic i have my heart set on. take a few minutes to browse...

40 lashes with a wet noodle

i've always felt that games are one of the easiest ways to get people to learn things.

06 September 2005

final will and testament


ok, so i figure i should write this because soon i'm going to be dead. i'm going to weigh about 450 pounds and i'm going to be dead from a heart attack and every artery in my entire body will be completely clogged with fat. around me will be a halo of cookie crumbs in many different flavours.

when you find me, whoever you are, i want you to know that i was killed by the immaculate baking company, whose extraordinary products i was unable to resist. most dangerously, this evil entity have established a fund for the promotion of american folk art, meaning that money raised from the sale of their product also goes to a fine cause. the fact that your money goes towards a worthy end does untold damage to innocent but weak-willed people (like yours truly) by undercutting the guilt we would normally feel if we, say, ate half a bag of rich, buttery pumpkin ginger cookies... drool... slurp...

incidentally, these folks also apparently baked the world's largest cookie in 2003. it was about the size of a boeing 737. right now, i feel like i ate a boeing 737. if you don't see any more posts on this site, please contact the authorities and see that these cookie-murderers get what's coming to them.

in the eye of the beholder


residents of and visitors to toronto can (and should) check out the omnibus gallery tour for beautiful mutants and postcard diaries, a set of prints by mark mothersbaugh.

the tour will come to the parts gallery, located at 1150 queen street east on september 17th. both collections look fascinating, although i have a particular fondness for the mutants (stemming from a fascination with daguerrotypes in general).

the exhibition continues until october 2nd.

04 September 2005

he means you, georgie

probably the most succinct quote i've come across on the (lack of) reaction to the current disaster by the "bushbots" in power:

"Hell hath no fury like a nation scorned."

i hope that spoiled brat bush's attitude in the last few days has made it obvious how little people in power actually care about the majority of citizens in their country. i hope that people actually do wake up and try to come up with some political options that reflect the demographics of the country. i hope that they hang on to some of that anger that we've seen in the last few days and don't become anesthetised by the belated rescue effort.

astrological sign: loser

the problem with being able to download music that you could never track down for sale is that you have to be really organised with the files you receive. sometimes, they aren't labeled in such a way as to make them easily identifiable. (this used to happen to me a lot with cassettes when i was a teenager. remember cassettes? no? ok, i'm old, forget it.) this evening i found a six minute track hanging out on my hard drive under the artist and album name "unknown".

i think from listening to it that it's a novy svet thing, but my entire ns collection seems to be properly accounted for. so what is it? could be mushroom's patience, but i don't know where it would have come from. it's a really good track, too. i feel tortured and i know i'm going to have it stuck in my brain when i'm trying to sleep tonight.

i'll be pounding my head against the desk if anyone's looking for me...

03 September 2005

baby steps

finished the first complete draft of 'tricky' this morning. i'm not entirely happy with the ending, but i suppose that's why it's a draft. word count is 48,053, but i imagine that this is going to increase once i have a chance to work through it more. there are definitely some things that need to be fleshed out. due to the speed at which i've been writing the thing, i don't anticipate taking much out of the current draft. who knows?

i feel like finishing this is like reaching the base camp at mt. everest. you've already gone through a lot to get there and it suddenly dawns on you that the more difficult part is still ahead of you. i will allow myself a quick pause to look at what i've accomplished...

ok, break's over, back to work.

01 September 2005

roll over and play dead


it hasn't been updated in a while, but i'm glad to see that there is a site dedicated to the hatred of the suv. i never liked these things, but since i've actually had to spend more time driving lately, this hatred has grown into something larger, more all-encompassing. (check the web site for some tips on how to creatively protest against these travesties.)

i don't have enough time or enough energy to go through all of the things that bug me about the suv, but aside from the personal peeves- i can't see around them, they take up a parking space and a half, etc.- i have to say that there are a couple of reasons that stand out:

1. the people who have trouble admitting that these vehicles are just a luxury that feeds their ego feel the need to justify the purchase on the grounds that these vehicles are more safe than conventional cars. they aren't. vehicles that have lots of room and have a better safety record exist and they are lighter weight than suvs. they're called minivans. but they don't have the sporty look that the suv driver wants. so you'd rather have a vehicle that is unsafe, but (you think) makes you lok good.

2. there are very, very few people living in cities whose lifestyle actually requires a vehicle with off-road and 4-wheel drive capability. in an urban environment, these vehicles are a nuissance and, given the amount of gas they take and the fact that their presence drives the cost of fuel up for everybody, the choice to own one is extremely irresponsible. these people need to be sent to their rooms until they can behave like grown ups who realise the consequences of their decisions.

i'm afraid of americans

interesting article by will bunch of the philadelphia daily news on the economics of disaster prevention in louisiana. not surprisingly, a number of people are starting to make the case that funding to prevent domestic catastrophes like that which has befallen louisiana and mississippi has been diverted to the ongoing war in iraq. sadly predictable. what i wonder is that if the department of homeland security is so poorly prepared for something like hurricanes, which are devastating, but which happen in a fairly predictable manner (at a certain time of year, with a certain level of advanced warning), how prepared are they for a completely unforeseen disaster like, say, a terrorist attack on one of their major cities?

tano tribute now available


the aforementioned tribute to koji tano is now available on line for download. 149 artists contributed a total of 10 cds worth of material, a remarkable accomplishment, given that the entire project was put together within 23 days. artists statements on their experiences with koji and their reasons for submitting tracks to the compilation are on the web site.
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