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recovery mode

for all those of you who, like me, were contemplating suicide as a viable option to having to sit through another christmas carol (my own personal nadir this season came with the carpenters' version of "have yourself a merry little christmas"), here is a little playlist which, listened to as a collection, will get your humbug working and have you ready to face the world again.

boyd rice\ hatesville:: after having to listen to weeks of phony warmth and maudlin sentimentality, it's nice to give equal time to the opposition. here's someone who wants you to know that it's ok to want to carve up your annoying druncle and serve him for dinner.

foetus\ ramrod:: hell yeah! puts your fists in the air and sing along to the soundtrack to everyone's trapped-among-the-rednecks nightmare. wallow in your own superiority, a completely un-christmaslike thing to do.

xiu xiu\ clowne towne:: what your friends really think of you. a sugar-coated cynanide pill from one of my favourite recent discoveries.

mick harris + martyn bates\ murder ballads:: this is not a track, but a set of three albums. any one of the tracks will do just as well as any other, since they do sound a wee bit the same. once upon a time, christmas was a season to tell ghost stories as well as to exchange crap you'll be pawning off at the office secret santa next year. revive the bloodcurdling tradition...

sol invictus\ kneel to the cross:: the parts of church history pope benedict probably won't be mentioning in any of his feel-good speeches.

haus arafna\ last dream of jesus:: it does actually sound like what would be going through your head if you were nailed to something.

sleep chamber\ that's romance:: it is impossible to simultaneously hold the thoughts of christmas and sadomasochism in your mind for longer than eight seconds without suffering permanent brain damage. don't even try. crank this one up and banish the spirits of christmas past, present and future until you feel comfortable inviting them back for a little visit.

whitehouse\ my cock's on fire:: he ain't talking about burning christmas dinner, baby.

peter murphy + tom waits\ christmas sucks:: self-explanatory

repeat as necessary until you start smiling again. you are never as far away from hearing next year's christmas carol marathon as you are right now.

Comments

Arvo said…
Looks good to me. I've posted a version of the 12 days of Christmas backwards, in hopes that it will funtion as an overdubbing of the crap that I'm forced to hear.

as long as you're here, why not read more?

long suffering

i've been meaning to write this post for a while, but, every time i get started, something happens that makes me rethink portions of it, to add or subtract or consider a different way of looking at things. the post was originally going to be my take on a #metoo statement, but i ended up making that post on my personal facebook page. [it's not that i don't love you all, but there are a few things i'm not comfortable putting in the entirely public sphere.] but beyond joining the #metoo juggernaut, i wanted to write something about the wave of sexual assault revelations that continues to swell over the north american media landscape that wasn't about me. then i realised that that was a little more complicated than just writing "so, lotta sex rapes happenin' these days, ain't there?" or whatever it was that i was going to say.

so i tried writing something about just a part of it: the media coverage or the entertainment industry or the politicians or …

jihadvertising?

i keep seeing this ad for tictac candies:



am i the only one who finds the suicide bomber clown at the end a little unnerving? all the nice natural things like the bunny and the [extinct] woolly mammoth and the fruit get devoured by a trying-to-appear-nonthreatening-but-obviously-psychotic clown who then blows himself up. congratulations, tictac, i think this ad has landed you on about a dozen watch lists.

oh and by the way, showing me that your product will somehow cause my stomach to explode in a rainbow of wtf makes me believe that doing consuming tictacs would be a worse dietary decision than the time i ate two raw eggs and a half a bottle of hot sauce on a dare.

making faces :: getting cheeky

blush might just be the last thing that a beauty lover comes to appreciate, seeing as it can be a matter of slight degrees that separates one product from another, and it's most difficult to tell from just swatching a product how it's going to look. and it did take me a long time to appreciate that, despite loving my refined pallor and believing that my natural rosy flush was more than enough of a blush for me, blush is my friend. it softens, sculpts, perfects and, although you might not see it at first blush [yuk yuk yuk], it is something that subtly harmonises with the other colours in a look to make it "complete". yes, it's the most tricky thing to pull off when you're wearing something that doesn't mesh with your own undertones. but it's also the thing that can take a face from gloomy to glowing with a swish of the magic wand known as a makeup brush.

highlighters are an even trickier lot, since many of the more brilliant ones have a tendency to e…