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my thermostat is broken

my internal thermostat, i mean. the one that regulates my body temperature.

i normally don't write about things at work, but i'm feverish and i can't help it. i sit in an office that has a door (a useless door that doesn't open, which i'm glad i found out this week as opposed to, say, during a fire) to the outside. the door has a draught coming through it that basically turns my office into the arctic circle. so after a couple of days of cold snap, i went to complain about this.

the response was succinct. "we know, we were wondering when you'd bring that up."

really? while you were wondering about it, did it occur to anyone to take some elementary steps to fix the problem? it's a draughty door frame, it's not like it requires a team of mechanical engineers.

so i got a space heater. the space heater blew out the power for me and my entire department (taking out someone's power while they're working on a presentation that's taken them seven hours is the death blow for any office sympathy you might receive, by the way). now i have a door stop that has aspirations to being a space heater.

i've pretty much determined that i'm going to have a little home/ office improvement session and address my issues with the door, which is, after all, the source of my problems.

for the moment, i cannot get my body the right temperature. i got so overheated i practically tore my clothes off in the car (albert) and now that i'm in my always-overheated apartment, i'm shivering. i think i need to find a more temperate climate, because the older i get, the more these canadian winters bother me. i've gone all wimpy and mushy in my old age.

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jihadvertising?

i keep seeing this ad for tictac candies:



am i the only one who finds the suicide bomber clown at the end a little unnerving? all the nice natural things like the bunny and the [extinct] woolly mammoth and the fruit get devoured by a trying-to-appear-nonthreatening-but-obviously-psychotic clown who then blows himself up. congratulations, tictac, i think this ad has landed you on about a dozen watch lists.

oh and by the way, showing me that your product will somehow cause my stomach to explode in a rainbow of wtf makes me believe that doing consuming tictacs would be a worse dietary decision than the time i ate two raw eggs and a half a bottle of hot sauce on a dare.

making faces :: hot stuff, comin' through

i don't even know what to say about the weather. the end of september saw temperatures at a scalding 36c/ 97f outside. this is especially annoying because we've had a moderate summer. most days it rained a little in the morning, the temperatures didn't creep into the 30s too often and there wasn't the normal stretch of a few weeks when it felt like we were living on the sun. now, we've receded into more normal fall weather, although it's still on the warm side for mid-october. that climate change thing is a bitch.

trying to think of something positive in the situation, it does put me in a perfect frame of mind to write about urban decay's naked heat palette. it's the latest in what appears to be an endless series of warm neutral and red eyeshadow palettes that have followed in the footsteps of anastasia's modern renaissance. [which i ultimately decided i didn't need after doing a thorough search of my considerable stash.] i do think that it'…

i agree, smedley [or, smokers totally saved our planet in 1983]

so this conversation happened [via text, so i have evidence and possibly so does the canadian government and the nsa].

dom and i were trying to settle our mutual nerves about tomorrow night's conversion screening, remembering that we've made a fine little film that people should see. which is just about exactly what dom had said when i responded thusly:

me :: i agree smedley. [pauses for a moment] did you get that here?

dom :: no?

me :: the aliens who were looking at earth and then decided it wasn't worth bothering with because people smoked even though it was bad for them?
come to think of it, that might mean that smokers prevented an alien invasion in the seventies.

dom :: what ?!?!?

me :: i've had wine and very little food. [pause] but the alien thing was real. [pause.] well, real on tv.

dom :: please eat something.

of course, i was wrong. the ad in question ran in 1983. this is the part where i would triumphantly embed the ad from youtube, except that the governmen…