Skip to main content

it's going to be one of those weeks

"like a lot of you, i hate. but i hate with style and creativity." -henry rollins

ok, i'm not exactly sure what got me under such a black cloud today, but it's reached these epic proportions. it's like anyone who comes anywhere near me becomes the enemy. be happy you're viewing this over the internet, where i can't get you.

the roots of some of this go back to september. i was on a business trip and this had required me to bring a considerable amount of baggage (the physical, not the emotional kind) in the form of samples, etc. i ended up traveling with three bags that were really heavy. my strongest memory of this trip is me, struggling to get all of these bags off the carousel and onto a cart while the two men i was traveling with stood some distance off, drank coffee and giggled at the spectacle i was creating.

yesterday, i got ot see the flip side of my situation. a woman of my acquaintance, had managed to convince the director of her department to come and pick her up in at the airport because she was too freaked out by business travel to risk taking a ten-minute cab ride on her own. apparently, this is completely acceptable behaviour in a thirty-five year old woman. i should add that this woman has a case history of freaking out and running crying to whatever man is in a position of authority and getting sympathy for it.

i wouldn't have a problem with this scenario if i could point to some tangible benefit i was getting from trying to maintain some sort of composure and independence. but the fact is, the men around me, particularly those i do or have worked with, are a lot more likely to tease me about my shoe fetish than to ask my opinion on a matter of substance. i'm still treated like a bimbo, i just don't get the perks.

this used to bother me less, back when i was younger, because when you're young, you don't expect that anyone takes you seriously as a rule (and young women always get the bimbo perks anyway). now that i'm old and gnarled and bitter, it bugs me. it bugs me a lot when i think about it, which is with increasing frequency.

if anyone's looking for me, i'll be wallowing in the vat of self-pity i've had built in my apartment.

Comments

I dont know how to say this any better than by proclaiming, now and for all eternity that you are a smart beautiful and particularly gifted, and that if there was ever one I could count on to have a debate of substance in this wonderland of mediocity, its definately you to whom I'd turn.
And if anyone would care to dispute any of these irrevocable truths, well, they can stand in line, single-filed please, so that I can, and with much gusto, kick them in the gonnads.
Feeling lucky, punk? Well, are you?

as long as you're here, why not read more?

long division

after the united states election last year, there were the usual calls for the country to unite behind the new president. that never happens anymore, because, since george w. bush scored a victory in 2004, having launched the country into a war in iraq for no reason, the people on the losing side of a presidential election have been pretty bloody angry about it. democrats hated bush 43. republicans really hated obama. democrats really hate trump.

it didn't help that trump didn't make the typical conciliatory gestures like including a couple of members of the opposite party in his cabinet, or encouraging his party to proceed slowly with contentious legislation. barack obama arguably wasted at least two and as many as six years of his tenure as president trying to play peacemaker before he felt sufficiently safe to just say "screw you guys" and start governing around the ridiculous congress he was forced to deal with. not-giving-a-shit obama was the best president in …

making faces :: i could maybe not buy this one thing

i've been into makeup on some level for a long time- much longer than i've been writing about it, for certain. even as a young woman, i loved the feeling of i got from applying a deep-hued lipstick and some mascara. it took years for me to figure out eyeshadow, and even longer for me to appreciate blush. but at this point, i think we can agree that i'm pretty much into the whole gamut. [except liquid and super-matte lipsticks, and most very sparkly eyeshadows. but that's because they're painful for me to wear.]

the thing about spending a long time collecting and holding onto just about everything is that you accumulate quite a stash. lately, i'm trying to force myself to think about what i already have before laying down money for something new. most recently, i found myself drawn to the modern renaissance palette from anastasia. me and a lot of people. by the time i started thinking about it, it was already sold out in my local sephora and online. i signed up…

when you want a great pair

i have finally come to the realisation that i might be trying to learn too many languages at once. that's not to say that i don't want to learn all the languages that exist in written form, but spreading myself across a dozen at one time doesn't allow for a lot of progress in any of them. therefore, while i'm still "checking in" with all of them, i'm trying to focus on a couple at a time. lately, that's been swedish and norwegian, because they are both grammatically similar to english [even if the swedish accent is very tough for me], which makes things progress faster. in general, i've been trying to pair similar languages because, while it can get a bit confusing, building the skill sets of both at once strengthens each of them. if you want more bang for your linguistic buck, 'pairing' like this can be quite helpful. here's a few suggestions for ones that i'd recommend:

swedish and norwegian :: they are so similar, it's easy …